A letter from a reader

At 63, I had all but given up on trousers, and I did not realise how much I minded

I have never written anything like this before, and I nearly did not. But I have said it to enough friends now that it seemed easier to just write it down.

My trousers had quietly stopped fitting the way trousers should. The jeans I used to live in had started to dig in and pinch by the afternoon, so I would come home and change the moment I was through the door. And the comfortable pairs I owned were fine, but they looked like something you would wear to weed the flower beds.

Smart and pinching, or comfortable and shapeless. Those seemed to be the only trousers left to me.

So I wore dresses when I could and put up with the pinching when I could not, and told myself trousers just were not for me anymore.

I did not choose that. It happens one uncomfortable afternoon at a time, until you have quietly written off a whole category of clothes.

How it happens

The smart trousers on offer for women our age are cut for a figure most of us do not have anymore, with hard waistbands that dig in the moment you sit down to lunch. And the comfortable ones are made as though comfort and looking nice could not possibly go together.

So you are left choosing between a long lunch spent holding your breath and a pair that makes you feel like you have given up.

Neither is much of a choice, so most of us just stop bothering with trousers at all.

What I had wrong

Here is the bit I got most wrong. I thought a soft, comfortable waist had to look like elastic pyjama trousers.

It does not. The waist can give with you completely, no digging in after lunch, while a wide, drapey leg falls so beautifully that the whole thing reads as tailored. Done well, nobody can tell there is any elastic in there at all.

Comfortable at the waist, elegant down the leg. That combination is what I had assumed did not exist, and it took me until 63 to find it.

The trousers are called the Sarah

They are from Iris & Nora, a little boutique here in Austin that has been quietly dressing women our age for a few years now.

They are called the Sarah. A wide-leg trouser in a soft, drapey fabric, with a comfortable elasticated drawstring waist and proper pockets. They come in a whole range of colours, which is how I ended up with three.

The waist is soft and gives with you, so there is no digging in after a meal, but the wide leg drapes so nicely that they look properly tailored. You step into them, pull the drawstring, and you are done. And the pockets are real, deep ones.

That is really all there is to it. It is not complicated. They are just trousers somebody designed for a real body and a real day.

What happened at the lunch

I wore them to a lunch in town, with a simple top and my good sandals.

Three women asked me where they were from before the plates were cleared. One of them was my friend Sue, who never comments on clothes, and who said I looked very put together. From Sue, that is practically a standing ovation.

What stayed with me, though, was that I sat through a long lunch completely comfortable, with no discreet unbuttoning under the table and no rush to get home and change. I have had them on for the shops, for lunch, and round the house, and been comfortable in every one.

Three things I have learned since

One. The waist is the whole thing. A soft drawstring waist that gives with you is the difference between enjoying lunch and enduring it.

Two. A wide leg does the flattering. The drape falls straight and long, so the trousers look tailored even though nothing is holding you in.

Three. Comfortable need not look casual. Dressed with a nice top they are smart enough for lunch, which I had stopped believing comfortable trousers could be.

About the price

I will be honest, the price made me a little suspicious.

The Sarah is $53.95. It was $106.00.

My first thought was that there had to be a catch, because trousers that are this comfortable and still look this smart usually cost a good deal more.

There is no catch that I have found. It is a small boutique selling directly, and they run a summer sale to move the season's stock. I read the reviews before I ordered a second color, the way I imagine you are doing now. Just over three hundred of them, sitting at 4.2 stars. Not the suspiciously perfect five you see on some sites, which if anything made me trust it more. The same things kept coming up. One woman had written, “Comfortable as pajamas but they look smart. I bought three colors and wear them constantly.” That was the one that decided it for me.

What I would tell you if we were friends

If you and I were sitting out on the porch with a glass of iced tea and you asked me, this is what I would say.

If you have quietly stopped wearing trousers because the smart ones hurt and the comfortable ones look like giving up, it is worth ten minutes of an evening to take a look.

Not because a pair of trousers changes anything. It does not. But getting through a whole day comfortable and still liking how you look is a small thing I had stopped expecting, and I would rather you did not stop expecting it either.

The sale is on now, they come in a whole range of colours from a small to a 3XL, and the popular ones go first.

I wear trousers again, and I do not count the minutes until I can change.

Peggy